Many studies showed that people who have loving and fulfilling relationships are healthier and more satisfied with their lives and live longer. In this article, I want to share with you the 9 great tips that you can apply to build a passionate relationship in a practical way. You will witness the great changes in your relationship if you commit yourself to practice those regularly.
Marriage or a committed relationship can be the most blissful, enjoyably challenging, self-realizing, and spiritually fulfilling part of your life.
And the truth is you have control over your relationship or marriage. If you want to have a passionate relationship, you can have it. It is truly and largely up to you.
How to build a passionate relationship?
Here are 9 practical and useful tips that combine my own experiences with professional experts’ suggestions on how to build a passionate relationship. A passionate relationship is a foundation of a fulfilling and lasting relationship.
Those tips can be so powerful if you commit yourself to practice them daily; you will achieve your desired relationship goals that are meaningful, fulfilling and inspiring.
1. You attract where your attention goes…
Everything starts with a thought, the good or bad you have in your life are created by your thoughts. And your attention is the powerful force to attract those things into your life.
You don’t have to be a firm believer in ‘attraction’ to understand this universal law. My mom once told me when I was young, “be careful what you are wishing for”…
This idea has been instilled in me since young, and I’ve been practising it without knowing it.
When I put so much attention on a specific issue or topic, the things or event just came to me. I didn’t want to have a boyfriend who’s a smoker, I even had a list of ‘whys’ I didn’t want to be with a guy who’s a smoker. But guess what, all my boyfriends even my husband are smokers….
Have you ever experienced that when you paid so much attention to the flaws of the other person, you will experience more of those flaws? Because you are attracting those unpleasant things into your relationship?
But the beautiful thing is that how to direct your attention is solely up to you! You can decide it, as it is YOUR CHOICE!
You can choose to focus on the good things in your relationship and magnify them to attract more blissful things to your relationship.
OR you can also choose to focus on the things you are unhappy and dissatisfied with your relationship and worsen it.
Put into practice:Constructively focus on the desired vision of your relationship and put your attention on the things that will lead or create those results.
Start finding the most beautiful, attractive and joyful things in your partner and hold your attention on those qualities. You will be amazed how fast those great qualities can grow under your gratitude and all the flaws will just disappear effortlessly.
2. Never forget that it’s a romance, not a friendship
It is great to have a marriage and a committed relationship built on a solid friendship. And friendship can also cheerfully co-exist in your marriage or relationship, but never treat your partner as your buddy or BFF; instead, your partner is your lover.
Your wife isn’t your drinking buddy and your husband isn’t your gossiping girl-friend.
Never stop adoring your partner, courting each other.
Feeling you are damn lucky to have the other. Treat your partner like the precious gift in your life.
Give your partner enough attention and caring, encourage each other to be better, bring out the best in each other.
Make your partner feel always wanted, feel special and instil the sense of high self-worth.
Put into practice: Say something sweet to your partner; hug and you’re your partner like she/he is the best gift you could have in life. Acknowledge and express your gratitude to your partner. Cook a nice dinner for her/him; handmade something special for you both; buy a small gift or flowers and more…
3. Face your emotions
I addressed the important role of emotions play in a relationship and marriage in my earlier post. Emotions are part of us, and it’s very normal and natural to have emotions in your daily life.
Stop listening to people who asked you to suppress them, it is such a non-sense and silly idea to hide and restrain your emotions, instead of understanding and facing it.
Don’t fear to experience bad emotions, it’s part and parcel in life. There will be pleasure and grief, isn’t it the beautiful part of our life? I am sure that you won’t like the emotionless life…
Permit yourself to experience and acknowledge your emotions and handle in the way with the first tip in mind.
Only focus on the emotions you would love to experience more, and let go of the emotions you don’t enjoy.
Put into practice: whenever negative emotions flow in your mind, acknowledge them and it is ok to feel bad, insecure, sad…
Asked yourself why you feel in such ways? And try to understand the source and let go of those negative emotions. Don’t let them stay in you for long, only seconds.
Believe that you have full control over them, if you don’t control them, they will control you. Keep learning and you will gain a greater understanding of yourself and your partner.
4. Never stop discovering each other
When couples are together for a longer time, they tend to assume that they already know everything about each other. This is one of the biggest mistakes you should avoid.
According to much scientific research, we have little self-awareness about ourselves. There are many hidden aspects of ourselves are remain unknown.
If we don’t know everything about ourselves, how can we assume that we know everything about our partner?
When you have this idea of knowing everything about the other person, subconsciously you have already boxed yourself up. You will not be curious and driven to find out more and stay interested.
Still, remember the courtship period of time, I guess everyone loves and enjoys that moment, as a human being we are programmed in such a way, we are driven by curiosity!
This is properly the reason why people don’t feel love when they are in a marriage and long-term relationships because people stop discovering each other.
Understand this point will help you to gain a new perspective and understanding of your partner and your actions and behaviours towards your relationship.
Put into practice: See your partner with fresh eyes, discover them as if they were a stranger for every morning and every evening. Discover the new things in your partner is one of the deep secrets to sexual, emotional, romantic, and spiritual fulfilment in your marriage.
5. Prioritize love making
Busy, tired, no moods are the common excuses for not having intimacy with the other.
Couples slowly become friends without intimacy that was replaced by other responsibilities in life.
I once consulted a great relationship coach; he is one of the most professional people I ever worked with. He mentioned to me that he sees nothing wrong to be friends with your partner without bedroom antics, but a friendship won’t get the benefit of the intimacy-opening truths that are deeper than words can communicate.
Of course for elderly or physically disabled couples, making love might become challenging or infrequent, but touch can (and I believe must) remain an important component of marriage.
It is necessary to schedule lovemaking. As many couples don’t take the steps of putting effort to ignite the fires in your bedroom will lead to attraction broke down.
Put into practice: schedule a great time with your partner. Be open to get better at it. Play the way you would like to enjoy together with your loved one. Ignite your sex life with little surprises, such as role play and dirty talks. You will experience the stronger bonding and deeper connection in your marriage.
6. Acknowledge disagreement
Without disagreements in a relationship or marriage, the relationship or marriage won’t exist.
Many couples are afraid to acknowledge disagreements in relationships, as they fear that it may cause problems, arguments or unhappiness in their relationships; but the truth is otherwise.
It is normal and natural to have disagreements, don’t feel threatening when you want to express your different opinions. And be open and encourage your partner to share his/her different point of view too, you’ll be surprised and delighted by the sparkles or interesting things.
“Love means really trying to understand your partner and honoring the differences.”
Put into practice: Be open, accept different perspectives from your partner, even though sometimes you strongly disagree with it. But give yourself and your partner a chance to re-look at it from your partner’s point of view. Learn more about how to have effective communication with your partner here.
You don’t have to agree with it eventually, but you must acknowledge and handle it in a mature way. Don’t criticize, don’t condemn, don’t be resentful, spare more understanding and love to your loved one. It’s important to make your point clear in the consideration for mutual benefits.
7. Be playful
This is one of the important tips that will help to build a passionate relationship.
When was the last time you really had fun with your partner?
I remembered it has been a really long time for me to play with my husband. I worked much more than play, I believed that I was educated in that way. Work is more important than play, especially when you are a grownup.
However, it’s not healthy if you want to build a passionate relationship. Sure, we all have many responsibilities in our daily life, they are essential, but ‘having fun’ is equivalently important to an individual or a relationship.
Have more fun with your partner will help you to release the stress from other responsibilities you have in life and it will ignite the passion in your relationship.
Put into practice: Remind yourself to have fun with each other, allow yourself to be silly together, doing activities that you both will enjoy. If you don’t have any idea what to do, get some inspirations from our list of 51 fun things you can do with your partner here.
8. Be present
Many couples spend hours and hours together, but they don’t feel as connected as they should, there is something missing….
They are together, but they are not together…They are together physically, but not mentally.
The study has shown our attention span is less than a goldfish – only 8 seconds. That explains why we can be distracted so easily by a phone call, text message of Facebook notification and etc…
But, do you know that you can get rid of those distractions? Spend more quality time with your partner every day. Be present, it’s the greatest way to show your love and declare your passion. Tell the other person how important she or he means to you, enjoy the presence of each other.
Put into practice: Ignore phone, your emails, TV or any distractions, if you can’t ignore them, switch them off. Spend quality time, even only several minutes to talk and listen to your partner, be completely present. Don’t underestimate this little tip, it does wonders if you commit doing it. Even smaller step each day.
9. Love imperfections
If you still believe in “perfection”, congrats to you that you won’t ever find it, because perfection doesn’t exist.
One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist…Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist.
— Stephen Hawking
Let’s be real, we are human beings, we are the hot mess!
If you get frustrated by your partner’s imprecations and try to improve them you are behaving in a highly irrational manner and will suffer the consequences of clinging to your no-win game.
Every single imperfection adds to your beauty, instead of being annoyed by those imperfections, why not practice a deep and loving acceptance?
Relationships aren’t made to be perfect. In fact, it’s within the imperfections where the true magic lies.
Love someone, truly, deeply requires a certain amount of acceptance, patience and compromises.
Don’t make your life harder by chasing perfections in yourself and in others.
Put into practice: When you see a imperfection in your partner, give it a smile and talk about it with love and humour. Tell your partner you don’t mind those imperfections, instead, those are the things make your partner amazingly unique.
The above are great tips to build a passionate, intimate and fun relationship. I hope you can really apply them in your daily life, you will love the results you are going to get from those practical and useful tips.
Is it not that difficult to build a passionate relationship right? Let me know if you like those tips by leaving your comments below. Sharing is caring, help to share this article and spread the love…