In the world of singles and dating, you’ll sometimes meet a man who is emotionally unavailable. Unfortunately, because of past pain and hurt some men will retreat and not connect with others. They may be very functional or even socially adept, but they don’t seem to be willing to share with others. And it’s tough to connect with them on a deeper level. In this article, you’ll discover the 10 signs that you are actually dating emotionally unavailable men.

10 Signs You Are Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men

Emotionally Unavailable Men

At the most basic level, if a man is emotionally unavailable it means that he is not whole enough or ready to be involved in a committed relationship.

Or, he is not willing to be in ANY relationship with a romantic twist. In fact, some people who carry an enormous amount of baggage can’t actually get involved in any deep friendships as well.

There are only 2 things you can do if you believe the man you’re dating is having these issues.

The first is to address the issues to them and encourage them to professional help or leave. Remember, there is no middle ground.

If you stay with emotionally unavailable men and they don’t get help. Eventually, you will push your relationship into the unhealthy spectrum, which will lead to relationship breakdown.

As you’ll be frustrated, hurt, lonely and unable to find emotional satisfaction in your relationship. Sometimes, those issues may even make you feel like the whole problem is your fault.

Therefore, it is important to know if you are dating an emotionally unavailable man? So that you can understand the root of the problem when it rises.

10 Signs You Are Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men

Here are 10 signs to tell you if you are dating emotionally unavailable men.

1. You have to work to get their attention

This is one of the common signs when dating an emotionally unavailable man.

You find yourself working too hard to get their attention. Although you answer their calls and texts and think about them during the day, you are fairly certain that the reverse is not the same.

It may take a day or two for them to get back to you and you have to work to get them to pay attention to you during your dates.

2. They don’t share their life

They either ask questions about your life but never want to share theirs. Sometimes they don’t even bother to learn more about your life either.

One of the hallmarks of a man who is not available emotionally is that they don’t share their life with others. They might be the easiest person to talk with, but you don’t learn much about them.

If you are dating a man who doesn’t share much of his life, then likely he is emotionally unavailable. This may also become the reason why he pulls away.

10 Signs You Are Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men

3. They are easily defensive 

One of the red flag you must watch for, as emotionally unavailable men tend to get defensive easily.

And they don’t take responsibility for anything in the relationship. You may find that any issues or problems become your fault and yours alone.

4. You haven’t met friends or family

You might have introduced them to your friends and even your family, but they have every excuse under the sun for not reciprocating.

The truth of the matter is that they aren’t sure this relationship is going anywhere and there is no point in making those explanations for friends.

5. You feel used

You have an underlying idea that you are being used. People who are emotionally closed off will find a way to meet their human needs of closeness, caring, physical affection and sex without committing themselves. This leaves you out in the cold and feeling used.

If you ever felt like this before, likely you are dating an emotionally unavailable man. And it is time to get back your self-esteem and end the relationship if necessary.

6. You feel confused, insecure or lonely in the relationship.

Have you wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship without anyone else with you? That’s what this feels like.

Sadly, if you feel confused, insecure or lonely while you are dating. The chance that you are dating an emotionally unavailable man is very high. Because in true love, you won’t have such feelings at the first stage of love.

7. You feel superficial 

During your time together things feel superficial. Your conversations surround the weather, the movie or a bit about work but things never really go much deeper than that. In other words, there is no emotional connection and intimacy.

8. They have trouble dealing with conflict

While people who are emotionally unavailable don’t enjoy connecting they also have trouble dealing with conflict in their lives.

They either blow things out of proportion or they ignore it until it goes away. Neither way is healthy.

If you find your men have troubles to deal with conflicts most of the time, then it’s the sign that you are dating emotionally unavailable men.

9. They are passive aggressive

People who are passive aggressive will drive anyone mad. They say one thing but mean another. They will agree with a plan on the surface and then go out of their way to sabotage the plan to be sure it doesn’t happen.

This is especially true when it comes to anything that might bond you, such as meeting your friends or family, going away for the weekend, or making a deeper commitment.

10 Signs You Are Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men

10. They have a problem with addictions

An addiction is just one way to emotionally distance yourself from life. If the man you are dating has a problem with addictions, likely he is emotionally unavailable.

That addiction can be to porn, alcohol, drugs, food, work or having affairs. One way or the other, it distances him from having to face the issues in his life.


Not every man with these traits is emotionally unavailable and not all emotionally unavailable men have all these traits.

The idea is to look a the person as a whole and your relationship specifically. If you think they may not be connecting with you the way you would like, talk with them.

Some may be narcissistic and not interested in changing themselves at all. But there are others will welcome the chance to be supported by someone they care about while going through the necessary growth to change.

Also be aware if you are in multiple relationships with the same type of person, as it might be that you have a problem also. As we attract what we want in love and life.

So, be cautious to choose the right type of person. If you want to back to the dating space, create an attractive dating profile now and follow our tips to become the love magnet in 2019.

Importantly, keep learning. Follow our blog to learn more great dating & relationship advice!

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