Why doesn’t he treat you as a priority? I have asked myself this question a thousand times, and I never found the very reason. After going through my last toxic relationship, I finally realized that #1 reason why he never treated me as a priority. And I know that many women struggle to find out the truth, and in fact, the answer to this question is straightforward. Just that many of us often overlook it. So, I want to share my understanding through this article so that you can avoid making these mistakes and learn the ways to get him to treat you the way you deserve. Read on and discover the real reason why he never treats you as a priority.
We all have different priorities in life, and it’s normal sometimes specific priorities outweigh others. Maybe your career, friends, family, hobbies or children, etc…Ho.wever, those things can’t justify the way you’ve been treated if you are in committed relationships.
#1 Reason He Doesn’t Treat You As A Priority
What I have learned from my experience; the #1 reason he doesn’t treat you as a priority is that you ALLOW him to do so, with or without intention.
I know it might be harsh to hear or it can be difficult to grasp at this moment. You may think that you have done everything for your partner, the best you could; you can’t be responsible for his ignorance and selfishness.
Well, I feel you, and you are right! But the reality is that you are unintentionally falling into the trap to train him to treat you as an option.
Being nice and kind are essential not only for building a healthy relationship but also as a good human being. However, doesn’t mean that you can’t ask the things you truly want; you can’t stand up for yourself, or you can’t set the boundaries with your partner.
For me, I was not aware of the above before. I naively thought that as long as I gave my man my love, treat him well, he will do the same for me. Unfortunately, things didn’t turn out to be great.
Being with my ex for five years, and I was never a priority in his life. But I didn’t know that I was in a toxic relationship. If you are wondering if you are in a toxic relationship, check out these 25 signs you are in a toxic relationship now!
If you are in a similar situation, treat this article as a wakeup call. I will not be where I am today if I have never taken my friend’s advice. She was not a relationship expert, but she is a real friend. And she always told me that I deserve a better man and stop justifying for his wrong acts. I should not allow him to treat me as an option, not a priority.
So now it is my turn to spread the love. Trust me, don’t ever ignore what I’ve shared in this article; instead, you should seriously take some time to evaluate your relationship.
What To Do When He Is Not Treating You As A Priority?
Case 1: MIA without explanation
I met Jason (not his real name, only for this article purpose) more than ten years ago when he used to work from the office next door. And I got to know him from several smoking breaks. At first, I was not attracted to him, though he is quite fit, good looking.
However, after a while, we became friends and started going out but not dating. He was very humorous and talkative; he made me laugh most of the time. That’s why I felt comfortable to be with him, and gradually he gained my trust.
When things went uphill, and I was seriously considering to be with him. But he’s just gone, literally MIA. I could no longer reach him, as he left his job and changed his phone number.
He just left me with many doubts and disappointments. Though we have not started dating officially; I never thought that he would leave me like that. But luckily nothing happen between us, so he was not ghosting me, I told myself.
Two years later…
I received an email from Jason, and he asked me to meet up. I was so excited and happy that he was back. But meanwhile, I was wondering where he has been? However, I told myself, just a catch-up, no point to ask too many questions; the important thing was that he’s back!
So I went to meet him, and he kept complimenting how attractive I become, which made me feel that I am floating on a cloud. Though I genuinely wanted to know what happened to him and why he MIA; but I didn’t have the guts to question him deeper. I briefly asked him then stopped there. As I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable and I didn’t want to lose him again.
Indirectly, I told him that I was fine with the way he’s treated me. Common sense right, he’s gone other priorities, and I was only one of his options.
Case 2: Hide Important Facts
Even though he went missing, I fell for him and finally, we were together. I couldn’t deny the fact that we were happy together. However, I always felt that I was not a priority to him. And my gut feeling told me that there was something he’s hiding from me.
Then I found out that he married before and the time he’s having separation with his ex-wife. I was angry, but I didn’t make a scene.
Maybe I was afraid to lose him…As I knew that I was not young anymore and hope to marry him one day. Plus he told me before that he only wants a partner who is understanding and kind, especially after been through so much with his ex-wife.
So again I didn’t stand up for myself. I hate to say, but at least I should make the point clear to my ex that I was angry; as it’s completely unacceptable for him to hide such important fact from me.
Case 3: Financial Abuse
The first time Jason asked money from me was right after the discussion of our marriage. He needed money urgently to help his brother, and he couldn’t cash out his money. Otherwise, he would suffer huge losses.
And he promised me that he would pay me back as soon as he got extra money. He assured many times that he would take care of me forever.
So I started to lend him money…But it was not a one-off thing, his excuses became ridiculous, and he needed more and more money. Once again, I allow him to abuse me.
Whenever I rejected him, he would get furious and do his best to make me feel bad and guilty. Eventually, I gave him all my money and found out that he’s been lying to me all the time…
If any of the above cases sounds familiar to you, don’t make the mistakes I made! I’m not asking you to be a cold-hearted bitch, but you must stand up for yourself. Don’t allow him to think that you’ll accept whatever he does, even the things that will hurt your feelings. As by doing this often you are training him not to treat you as a priority.
I never draw the boundary and never stand up for myself. That’s the reason why he doesn’t treat me as a priority. Regardless of how much you love your man, you need to stand up for yourself as well.
Practice self-love is essential in a relationship, and you need to set your limit and respect yourself. Without those things, you won’t gain a man’s respect, and he will never treat you the way you deserve.
Don’t let him treat you as an option, but his priority. Start today to reflect on yourself, learn to be the irresistible women to men!
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