If your partner is treating you like a princess, it’s a sure thing that he has been raised by a great queen! Being in a marriage comes with different
Whether you try so hard or leave things as it is, either way, your marital relationship will always be going to be affected one way or other.
I have a great relationship with my mother in law and I like to boast about it.😄But honestly speaking, it was not that easy at the beginning as well. Both of us have come along a long path in building a better bond.
And in general, mother in law relationship can be a booster for your marriage life; but also can be the toxin to cause relationship breakdown.
That’s why have a good relationship with your mother in law is a great approach to build a lasting marriage.
It is not necessary that all of us are having a great super mother in law. Few of us are also dealing the one we say ‘monster in law’!
Here I’m sharing some useful tips to have a better relationship with your mother in law.
7 Ways To A Better Relationship With Your Mother In Law
1. Look into yourself
The first and important step towards a better bonding with your mother in law is to prove yourself a valuable part of the family.
And your boyfriend’s mum is not your mother in law yet, so she can’t be hard on you as she may consider you a temporary part of his son’s life.
However, once you marry your beloved, you are going to be an official member of the family. Then it’s like a permanent position which you will own for the rest of your life. So things can change from here…
When you are married, you need to prove yourself loyal to the family. You should play a positive role to let your mother in law know that you not only understand this family norms and culture but also respects them.
Importantly, she also must know that you are not just loved by his son but also liked by all other members of the family.
2. Stop noticing everything
In my opinion, this is one of the most important steps to build a better relationship with your mother in law.
If you are noticing every single act of your mother in law and feeling everything personally; then the things are wrong at your side. Because you will get annoyed by the little small things, it’s natural as we are all not perfect. And feeling this doesn’t make a bad daughter in law either.
However, you need to learn to let go, don’t pay too much attention to
Maybe no one has told you yet, but it’s so true that you need to change your mindset when you are married. You need to broaden your perspectives and thinking once you are married.
Being oversensitive to every little thing in your life will only end up ruining your personal life as well as your relationship with your mother in law.
Instead of feeling everything, you need to thicken your skin. And you should stop reacting to everything your mother in law says; learn to stop feeling every other act of her as an intrusion to your privacy.
Stop taking all her advice as free opinions. She is older than you doesn’t mean she is wiser than you. You can make your own decisions!
Remember that you are not into a race. There is no winning or losing in the end. Your husband married you because he loves you more than anything in this world and that’s already a big win for you.
The only thing you need to understand is that he loves his mother too. And he has spent his whole life
Both of you need to accept the reality that both of you are loved by a single man but with different perspectives. The only advantage you are having is that you have this man living beside you for the rest of your life.
4. Know her intentions
We are humans and we love to judge other intentionally or unintentionally. If you have a judging habit and jumping on to a conclusion without knowing the intentions; then it is not going to take you to a good end.
Therefore, you need to know your mother in law’s intentions before judging her.
If she promised to babysit the toddler so that you can have a great date and she got at your house an hour late, don’t make her look bad.
She may have stuck into some traffic or arrangements for her grandkids. If she wasn’t ready for both of you to have some personal time, why would she agree at the first place?
Give things space. Know her intentions behind her acts and things she does.
5. Give her
Not just our mother in law, but our own mothers are from a different generation. They are slow learners, not easy to get on with, not so adaptive to new relations or things and more than that takes time to evolve.
Therefore, we need to give them a chance. And we need to understand that there is a generation gap between us which is not going to fill up within months.
Give your mother in law a chance to get along with you. She will learn gradually that you are a good person who is just having a different way of doing things. Even if she doesn’t, this should not bother you because it’s not her fault!
Just like your husband has flaws, you have flaws; your mother in law can have them too!
No one is perfect we say all the time but we need to practically implement that. Your mother in law can be strict, harsh, rude, and blunt or even judge you too much but there is always one good side of a person.
She can be kind, supportive, loving but not so expressive, adventurous but not like you and more than that a parent who is always thinking of good at the end.
Specially, she will never want his son to live a bad life with her spouse or kids.
your spouse handle the worse!
If things are still not settling down and your mother in law is still playing a monstrous role at her part; then it’s time that your spouse has to jump in.
And if he has been quite through your bonding phase with mother in law and not playing his part, he needs to do that now.
Surly, your husband knows his mother well than you. So talk to him and make him understands how he can make her learn that she needs to accept you completely.
His mother will not even mind if his son will talk to her politely and kindly about this new relationship. So let him defend you in a way which will end best for both of the parties.
After all, who wants a bad relationship? Who doesn’t want to go through all the stages of love? right!
Things may get worse but you need to understand that we should always be able to ignore small things (even big).
Life is not as complex as we have made it. And having a better relationship with your mother in law is not as hard as we think.
We just need to have a lot of patience and tricks to make her happy! Go take her favorite chocolate cake next time you visit and see the magic!
Do you like the above tips to better your relationship with your mother in law? Let us know your thoughts below 💕💕🙋♀🙋♀