When you go through a breakup, particularly with someone you had a real attachment to, it can be devastating. Working through a breakup can be unbelievably taxing both mentally and emotionally, and it can feel like your world is ending. The circumstances surrounding your breakup can differ drastically, making it impossible to know what you’re going to think for real. In reality, there are different stages of a breakup, and it’s advisable to understand them. In this article, you’ll discover the seven stages of a breakup that you can expect to float through after a particularly bad breakup.
7 Stages Of A Breakup
If you were cheated on, you might be feeling betrayed. Or if it was a long-term relationship that slowly fell apart, you might be mourning the loss of a once beautiful thing and wondering how you could have saved it.
But it’s important to remember that you’re in mourning, which is why you will follow a relationship-specific version of the grieving cycle. There are seven stages of a breakup every person would go through if you can grasp them well; then it’ll be easier for you to go through this painful process.
Stage 1: How Did We Get Here?
This stage of a breakup may look different depending on the type of breakup. If it was a long-term relationship that fell apart, you might be wondering where the cracks started and how you missed them long enough for the two of you to let it get this bad.
And you’re probably going to wonder what the first sign was that things were falling apart. If infidelity is a component, you’ll be wondering why he cheated on you and how you could have missed the signs. You might never get your answers, but asking the questions and reflecting is entirely conventional.
Stage 2: This Isn’t Possible
After you have gone through the first stage of a breakup, that means you have already taken some time to reflect on how you ended up there; then you might find that the way everything played out doesn’t feel real.
You’ll likely think about the time you spent together and the bond that you shared and feel like it’s impossible for that to truly be over. It might feel impossible, but breakups are a normal part of life, and they do happen.
You may probably feel that you can’t continue enjoying the life you’ve built without that person by your side. I know, it’s an awful feeling, but it isn’t true. Your life will go on. Once you accept the reality for what it is, you’re that much closer to moving on.
Stage 3: We Need to Work At It
You might start to wonder if the two of you can work it out after all or be considering trying to change drastically to see if that might save the relationship. And this might involve you wondering if you can talk it out or give him a second chance.
You might find yourself willing to compromise to an unhealthy extent and shoulder the burden of trying to salvage what you had. This stage of a breakup catches a lot of people, and it generally does more harm than good to focus on these options.
Stage 4: Total Social Withdrawal
This stage of a breakup is exemplified by Elle Woods when she locks herself in a room with chocolate and sappy movies for literal days until her sorority sisters drag her out.
Eventually, you’re going to feel like you don’t want to go out and have fun because you’re too busy feeling bad. And it’s undeniable that this is indeed the low point of your grieving process.
You might find yourself caught in a temporary period of depression. And this is the time you think life doesn’t taste as sweet as the time when your ex is around. But believe it, this will pass, though it sucks when you’re in the thick of it.
Stage 5: You Did This to Me
Once you’re done feeling sorry for yourself and lamenting your great loss, chances are you’re going to feel pissed off. And this is one of the stages of a breakup many people will go through.
Likely, you’re going to be mad at him for wasting your time and energy. And you’re going to feel like your ex lied when he said he cared about you when he’s not willing to do the work to make the relationship work out.
Also, you may feel wronged in every way! And you feel angry that you ever wasted your time on something that added up to so much nothing. In this phase, it is easy to squish good memories that he had and only focus on the negative. Fortunately, it won’t last.
Stage 6: I Don’t Need You
The sixth stage of a breakup is to prove you ‘market value.’
After you released your anger and resentments, you will finally convince yourself the reality. And you’ll realize he brought nothing to your life; you might find yourself overcompensating to prove yourself right.
Likely you might go to the club every night, or you might date as many guys as you can; you might adopt a new workout routine and dress up your wardrobe.
This section is hard because these can all be good things if you’re doing them for yourself and not out of spite. So, avoid the spite. It doesn’t look good on anyone.
Stage 7: I Realize It’s Okay That It Didn’t Work Out
The anger will fade, the sorrow will lessen, and once that happens, you made it. Now you come to the last stage of a breakup. As eventually, you’ll hit a point where you realize that you didn’t waste your time; as you also learned and that it just didn’t work out.
The moment you realize and accept these things, you’ve made it through your grieving process, and you’ll be ready to find love again!
Breakups are horrible. More often than not, even if you break up on “good” terms, it will always register as a loss. Losing people is hard, and losing something that you spent a lot of time on and have a lot of beautiful memories with is that much harder.
You should never discredit your emotions when it comes to mourning a breakup. In fact, the sooner you let yourself be sad and angry, the sooner you’ll remember how to be happy.
Once you reach this point, you’ll realize that everything is going to be okay.
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